So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
