i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I love having hate sex.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
