? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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