I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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