I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
