so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
