Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
