the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize