I wannas sexs uuuuu
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
