Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
