you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i think my cat just said my name.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
