You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
