I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
