Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
