When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
