You're completely useless in the revolution.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
