i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
