Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
