at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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