I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
