Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
