Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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