the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
