i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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