so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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