We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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