is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
