Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
