I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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