i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
