Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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