i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
