it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
