I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
