I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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