But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
