The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
