u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
