are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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