can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
