i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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