how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
