i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
