What a fucking waste of an outfit
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
