4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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