i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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