whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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