Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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