she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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