I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
